Red Barons Webseiten
Cable's Law of Commercial Aircraft: If there is one seat on an airplane with
a defective seatback, it will be the seat in front
Cade's Law of Budgeting: The larger the budget, the less effectively the funds are allocated.
Cafeteria Law: The item you had your eye on the minute you walked in will be taken by the person in front of you!
Cahn's Axiom: When all fails, read the instructions.
Caine's Observation on Civics and Psychology: Everybody's upset about something.
Callaway's Lament: Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Calvin Coolidge's Comment: You don' have to explain something you never said.
Cameron's First Law: An honest politician is one who,
when he is bought, will stay bought.
Cameron's Law: An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Campbell's Law: The less you do, the
less can go wrong.
Camus's Law: Those who write clearly have readers. Those who write obscurely have commentators.
Canada Bill Jones's Motto: It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
Supplement: A Smith and Wesson beats
Cannon's Canon: Experience is what causes you to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
Capp's Law: The closest you can get to your youth is to start repeating your follies.
Captain Penny's Law: You
can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the
Cardiologist’ Caveat: The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades.
Carillo’s Law of Parsimony: When multiple explanations exist the simplest is usually correct.
Carlton's Comment: Expertise is the knack of recognizing the obvious.
Carlyle's Mystery Key Theory: On a key ring with multiple keys, there will always be one key that does not open anything.
Carol's Principle of Weight Loss: The first outfits you can get back into are those you never really liked.
Comment: When turkey's mate they think of swans
Carter's Computer Conundrum: The backup disk will not contain the data you just lost.
Casey's Theory of Light: The most difficult bulb to replace burns out most frequently.
Cassio's Law of Business Travel: After paying $15 for the hotel
breakfast, you will find a deli next door offering the same
Chandler's Law: The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
Chaney's Law: Entropy requires no maintenance.
Chapman's Committee Rules: 1. Never arrive on time, or you
will be stamped a beginner.
Charles Osgood's Axiom: Nobody thinks they make too much money.
Chartier's First Axiom: Nothing is more
dangerous than an idea - when it's the only one we
Chasen's First Law of Sewing: If you
need four similar buttons, you will find three.
Chason's Rule of Retail: Any economically priced quality product eventually becomes overpriced.
Chaussee's Conundrum: Where everyone is wrong, everyone is right.
Cheit's Lament: If you help a friend in need, that person is sure to remember you - the next time he's in need.
Chekhov's Law: If there is a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it must fire in the last.
Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
Chestnut: Never take a fence down until you know the reason why it was
Chinese Proverb (updated): Never answer e-mail when you are angry.
Chisholm's Laws: 1. When things are
going well, something will go wrong. Corollaries: a.
When things just can't get worse,
Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
Chris' Comment: You always have to give up something you want for something you want more.
Christensen's Law: When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Christie-Davies' Theorem: If your facts are wrong but your logic is
perfect, then your conclusions are inevitable false.
Codicil: If you’re going through hell, keep going.
Clark’s Law: Everything leaks.
Clarke's Laws: 1. When a distinguished
but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly
Cleve's Conundrum: Those who become part of a larger picture don't appear smaller.
Cliff's Law: Never stand between a dog and a hydrant.
Clyde's Law: If you have something to do, and put it off long enough, chances are that someone else will do it for you.
Coblitz's Law: A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.
Cock's Comment: A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and the quietly strangled.
Cochrane's Aphorism: Before ordering a test, decide what you will do if
the results are 1) positive, or 2) negative.
Cohen's Laws: 1. What really matters is
the name you succeed in imposing an the facts - not the facts themselves.
Cohn's Laws: 1.
In any bureaucracy, paperwork increases as you spend more and more time
reporting on the less and less you are doing.
Coit-Murphy's Statement on the Power of Negative Thinking: It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet
remains a constant; the population, however,
continues to grow.
Coleridge's Law: Extremes meet.
Collins's Conference Principle: The speaker with the most monotonous voice speaks after the big meal.
Colvard's Logical Premises: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.
Commoner's Laws of Ecology: 1.
Nothing ever goes away.
First Law: There is only
one first time.
Connor's Second Law: If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.
Conrad Hilton's One (and Only) Certainty: It's better to put the shower curtain inside the bathtub than outside.
Conroy' First Rule of Lawmaking: Any proposed legislation shall
contradict some other proposed legislation
Conway's Law: In an organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
Cooke's Law: It is always hard to notice what isn't there.
Coolidge’s Caveat: No one listened
himself out of a job.
Cooper's Law: Nothing will be attempted
if all possible objections must first be overcome.
Copeland's Observation: For being efficient a committee should only have three members of whom two are absent.
Cornuelle's Law: Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Corrigan' Social Law: The harder one tries to be elegant and sophisticated, the less so one appears.
Cory's Law of Parenting: Children become noisy as soon as you get on the
telephone. Zellie's Corollary: The worse
Cosgrove's Paradox of Government Budgets: A government can balance its budget by borrowing to do so.
Cosby’s Caveat: Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Coull's Comment: Every new project requires a tool that you don't have.
Courteline’s Cocodil: If it were
necessary to tolerate in other people everything that one permits oneself,
Courtois' Rule: If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
Cousin's Law: Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
Crabtree’s Bludgeon (counter to
Occam’s Razor): No set of mutually inconsistent Observations can
exist for which some human
Couvier's Law: There is nothing more frightening that ignorance in action.
Crane's Law: There ain't no such thing
as a free lunch.
Cranston's Deli Law: The larger the menu, the quicker the waitress comes to ask for your order.
Crayne's Law: All computers wait at the same speed.
Crockett's Caveat: Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment.
Laws: 1. A digital readout provides misinformation
with greater accuracy than previously possible.
Crosby's Law: You can tell how bad a musical is by how many times the chorus yells, "hooray".
Crothers’s Caveat: The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them.
Cusak's Observation: The driver's-side windshield wiper always wears out first. Corollary: The worst smear is at eye level.
Czliknsky's Law of Retail: If you want to browse, you will be inundated by clerks; if you want to buy, no clerk will be found.
Dacharme's Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Dale's Parking Postulate: If only two cars are left in a parking lot, one will be blocking the other.
Dalton’s Law: A bad lawyer can let a
case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even
Darrow's Comment on History: History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.
Darwin's Law: Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can. Bloch's
Extension: So will Darwinists.
Dasgupta's Refutation of the Law of Thermodynamics: Two physical bodies cannot occupy the same space
Dave's Rules of Assembly: 1. The component that will take longest to
replace is the one that breaks.
Davies's Law for Patients: If your
condition seems to be getting better, it's probably your doctor getting
Dictum: We can childproof our homes, but they still can get in.
De Balzak's Axiom: Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
De Beaumarchais's Motto: It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
De Nevers's Law of Debate: Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
De Sica’s Law: Moral indignation is in most cases 2 percent moral, 48 percent indignation, and 50 percent envy.
Deal's Laws of Sailing: 1. The amount of wind will vary inversely
with the number and experience of the people you take on
Dedera's Law: In a three-story building served by one elevator, nine
times out of ten the elevator car will be on a floor
Defalque's Observation: A path without obstacles usually leads nowhere.
Dehay's Axiom: Simple jobs always get put off because there will be time to do them later.
Deitz's Law of Ego:The
fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a column is in direct ratio to
Democritus's Principle: Nothing exists except atoms and empty space. Everything else is opinion.
Denniston's Law: Virtue is its own punishment. Corollary:
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
Destouces' Principle of Committee Meetings: The absent are always in the wrong.
Devries's Dilemma: If you hit two keys on a typewriter, the character you don't want comes out on paper.
Dick's Lemma: Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Dickerson's Work Ethic: Anyone can complete a large volume of work in a
short period of time provided that the work is other
Digiovanni's Law: The number of Laws will expand to fill the publishing space available.
Diet Rule: The one thing harder than sticking to a diet is keeping
quiet about it.
Diner's Dilemma: A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
Dingle's Law: When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it around instead of picking it up.
Dirksen's Rule of the Road: Leaving a safe driving distance between your
car and the car in front of you ensures that someone
Disimoni's Rule of Cognition: Believing is seeing.
Disraeli's Dictum: Error is often more earnest than truth.
Doane's Laws of Procrastination: 1. The more proficient one is at
procrastination, the less proficient one need be at all else.
Doc Martin's Laws of Football: 1. Your best play of the day will be nullified by a minor
Dolin's Law of Research: The library will have every back issue of a magazine except for the issue you need for your research.
Donna's Feminist Discovery: If an article is "specially designed for women", it
same as a man's model
Donner’s Dictum: The nicest thing about dictating a letter is that you can use words you don’t know how to spell.
Dooley's Law: Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Dorian's Dictum: The further you travel to view the fireworks, the greater the chance of rain.
Dorothy's Law: When in doubt, go with your first instinct. Get that mistake out of the way.
Dorr's Law of Athletics: In an otherwise empty locker room, any two individuals will have adjoining lockers.
Dowling's Law of Photography: One missed photographic opportunity creates
a desire to purchase two additional pieces
Dow's Law: In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the greater the confusion.
Dr. Hendriks Simplified Law of Healthful Eating: If it tastes good, it's bad for you. If it tastes bad, it's good for you.
Dr. Silver's Restatement of Murphy's Law: Whatever does go wrong won't be authorized by your HMO.
Dr. Who's Rule: First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Drazen's Law of Restitution: The time it takes to rectify a situation is
inversely proportional to the time it took to do the
Drew'sLaw of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean
windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
Drummond's Law of Personnel Recruiting: The ideal resumé will turn up one day after the position is filled.
Dryer’s Driving Principle: Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
Ducharme'sAxiom: If you view a problem closely enough, you will
recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Duck's Political Principle: Any campaign reform only lasts until the powers regroup.
Dude's Law of Duality: Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.
Duezabou's Observation: If you abstain from drinking, smoking and carousing, you may not live longer - but it will feel longer.
Duggan's Law of Scholarly Research: The most valuable quotation will be
the one for which you cannot determine the source.
Dumper's Principle of Neotony: An adult is a deteriorated child.
Dunlap's Laws of Physics: 1. Fact is solidified opinion.
Dunn's Law: Careful planning is no substitute for dumb luck.
Dunne's Law: The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.
Durant's Discovery: One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
Dyer's Law of Relativity: Life is short, but a three-hour movie is interminable.
Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.