Red Barons Webseiten
L. B. J.'s Law: If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that only one of them is doing the thinking.
L'Engle's Law of Accounting: Nobody ever went out of business paying too many taxes because of earning too much money.
La Grangeís Law: When we ask for advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.
One is never as unhappy as one thinks nor as happy as one
Lackland's Laws: 1. Never be first. 2. Never be last. 3. Never volunteer for anything.
LaCombe's Rule of Percentages: The incidence of anything worthwhile is
either 15-2 5 percent or 80-90 percent.
Lacopi's Law: After food and sex, man's greatest drive is to tell the other fellow how to do his job.
Ladmanís Law: Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
LaGuardia's Law: Statistics are like expert witnesses - they will testify for either side.
Lampner's Law of
Correctness: You canít be 100 percent right, but you can be 100 percent
Land's Lemma: When the experiment doesn't work, distrust the experiment; when the experiment works, distrust the theory.
Landersí Law: Trouble is the great equalizer.
Landrum' Principle of Assembly: No matter how many parts have been
Langer's Law: If the line moves quickly, you're in the wrong line.
Langfield's Law of Gastronomie: The discovery of a new dish is more beneficial to humanity than the discovery of a new star.
Langsam's Laws: 1. Everything depends.
Langston's Laws of Advanced Technology: 1. The more sophisticated the
item, the more likely it will find a way to break itself.
Lanning's Law: Murphy's Law always hits at the worst time.
Larson's Bureaucratic Principle: Accomplishing the impossible means
only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Lasker's Law of the Marketplace: If the unit is advertised as "ALL-NEW", the one thing that was actually changed makes the model incompatible with yours.
Las Vegas Laws: 1. Never bet on a loser because you think his luck
is bound to change.
Lasker's Law of the Marketplace: If
the unit is advertised as "ALL-NEW", the one thing that was actually
Last Law of Product Design: If you can't fix it, feature it.
Last Law of Robotics: The only real errors are human errors.
Launegayer's Observation: Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
Lavia's Law of Tennis: A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.
Lavin's Law of Product Development: When management asks for something
fresh, creative and brand new,
Law for Veterinarians: The first pet you treat in the morning will pee on your pants.
Law of Annoyance: When working on a project, if you put away a tool that
you are certain you're finished with,
Law of Arbitrary Distinction: Anything may be divided into as many parts
as you please.
Law of Arrival: Those who live closest arrive latest.
Law of Aspersion:
If you say something bad about someone, you will discover
that the same criticism applies to you.
Law of Automotive Repair: You can't fix it if it ain't broken.
Law of Balance: Bad habits will cancel out good ones. Example: The
orange juice and granola you had for breakfast
Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
Law of Check and Balances: In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.
Law of Christmas Decorating: The outdoor lights that tested perfectly indoors develop burn-outs as soon as they are strung on the house.
Law of Communications: The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunderstanding.
Law of Completion: If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
Law of Conservation of Tsouris: The amount of aggravation in the universe is constant. Corollary: If things are going well in one area, they are going wrong in another.
Law of Corporate Takeovers:
In any corporate buyout, the resultant company will
provide inferior service and quality.
Law of Delivery: The more anxious you are to have it arrive, the longer it takes to get there.
Law of E-mail: Typos are not noticed until after the "Send" button has been hit.
Law of Engineering Responsibility: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.
Law of Expertise: It takes a lot of effort to make a thing look easy.
Law of Governmental Self-Fulfillment: The more money spent on the feasibility study, the more feasible the project.
Law of Hierarchical Communications: The inevitable result of improved
communications between different levels in a hierarchy
Law of Highway Construction: The most heavily traveled streets spend the most time under repair.
Law of Human Quirks: Everyone wants to be noticed, but no one wants to be stared at.
Law of Information Retrieval: A document discarded as worthless will become vital shortly after the thrash is collected.
Law of Institutions: The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
Law of Laboratory Work: Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass
Law of Legislative Action: The length of time it takes a bill to pass
through the legislature is in direct proportion
Law of Life's Highway: If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Law of Living: As soon as you're doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch.
Law of Observation: Nothing looks as good close up as it does from far
away. Or - nothing looks as good from far away
Law of Opportunity: The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
Law of Particle Physics: The shorter the life of the particle, the more it costs to produce.
Law of Political Machinery: When no viable candidate exists, someone will nominate a Kennedy.
Law of Postal Delivery: 1.
Love letters, business contracts, and money you are due always arrive three
Law of Practice: Plays that work in theory do not work in practice. Plays that work in practice do not work during the game.
Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Law of Product Testing:
A component selected at random from a group having 99 percent
Law of Productivity: When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
Law of Promotional Tours: Jet lag accumulates unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty to perform.
Law of Repair: You canít fix it if it ainít broke.
Law of Reruns:
If you have watched only one episode of a TV series, and you
watch it again,
Law of Regressive Achievement: Last yearís model was always better.
Law of Retrospection: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Law of Revelation: The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
Law of Reverse Progress: The complex system that works replaces a simple system that works.
Law of Rosters: If there are two possible ways to spell a personís name, you will pick the wrong spelling.
Law of Scientific Progress: The advance
of science can be measured by the rate at which exceptions
Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage. Jenning's
Corollary: The chance of the bread
Law of Socioeconomics:
In a hierarchical system, the rate of pay for a given task
increases in inverse ratio
Law of Sports Practice:
Plays that work in theory do not work in practice.
Law of Specification: In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.
Law of Superiority: The first example of superior principle is always inferior to the developed example of inferior principle.
Law of Supermarkets: The quality of the house brand varies inversely with the size of the supermarket chain.
Law of Supersession: In court, Murphyís Law supersedes local, state, and federal law.
Law of Survival: It's not who is right, it's who is left.
Law of Talent Shows: The best performer in your category will go on just before you do.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss
you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
Law of the Bridge: Itís always the partnerís fault.
Law of the Individual: Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
Law of the Last Detail: If you are sure it is not important, it is
Law of the Lie: No matter how often a lie is shown to be false, there
will remain a percentage of people
Law of the Letter: The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.
Law of the Lost Inch: In designing any type of construction, no overall
dimension can be totaled correctly
Law of the Marketplace 1: If only one price can be obtained for any
quotation, the price will be unreasonable.
Law of the Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Law of the Probable Dispersal: Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Law of Product Testing: A component selected at random from a group having 99% reliability will be a member of the 1% group.
Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it.
Law of Triviality: The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
Law of Unreliability: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Lawler's Law of Furniture Buying: If you can have it quickly and it's at a good price, it won't be exactly the one you want.
Law: A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go
to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Laws for Freelance Artists: 1. A high-paying rush job comes in
only after you have committed to a low- paying rush job.
Laws for Working Cooks: 1. If you're wondering if you left the
coffee pot plugged in, you did.
Laws of Applied Terror: 1. When viewing your notes before an exam,
the most important ones will be illegible.
Laws of Arrival: 1. Those who live closest arrive latest.
Laws of Bank
Mergers: 1. Whatís good for your bank
is not good for you.
Laws of Business Meetings: 1. The lead in the pencil will break in
direct proportion to the importance of the notes taken.
Laws of Class Scheduling: 1. If the course you wanted most has
room for thirty students, you will be the thirty-first to enroll.
Laws of Committo-Dynamics: 1.Comitas
comitatum, omnia comitas.
Laws of Communication: 1. If it should exist, it doesn't (see also
Laws of Computer Programming: 1. Any given program, when running,
Laws of Construction: 1. Parts that positively cannot be assembled
in improper order will be.
Contract Negotiations: 1. Each
unacceptable offer has an equal and opposite unreasonable demand.
Laws of Gardening: 1. Other people's tools work only in other
Laws of Kitchen Confusion: 1. Multiple-function gadgets will not
perform any function adequately.
Laws of News Reporting: 1. The closer you are to the facts of a
Laws of Office Murphology: 1. Important letters that contain no
errors will develop errors in the mail.
Laws of Particle Physics: 1. The shorter the life of a particle,
the more it costs to produce.
Laws of Photography: 1. The best shots happen immediately after
the last frame is exposed.
Laws of Postal Deliveries: 1. Love letters, business contracts and
money you are due always arrive three weeks later.
Laws of Procrastination:
1. Procrastination shortens the job and
places the responsibility for its termination an someone else
Laws of Progress: The course of Progress: Most things get
Laws of Revision: 2. (also known as The Domino Theory): The more
innocuous the modification appears to be,
Laws of Systematics: 15. A complex system that works is
invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
Laws of Truth in Reporting: 1. The closer you are to the facts of
LBJ's Law: If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
Le Chatelier's Principle: Complex systems tend to oppose their proper function.
Leadfield's Law: When you need to mark with a pencil, any available pencil will have a broken tip.
Leahy's Law: If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes right.
In any dealings with a collective body of people, the people
will always be more tacky than originally expected.
Lefty Gomez's Law: If you don't throw it, they can't hit it.
Lemar's Parking Postulate: If you have parked six blocks away, you will
find two new parking spaces
Leo Beiser's First Computer Axiom: When putting it into memory, remember where you put it.
Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given
enough time and money.
Les Miserables Metalaw: All laws, whether good, bad or indifferent, must be obeyed to the letter.
Lesser's Law: No matter how much you honor your parents as an adult, it will not make up for your behavior as a child.
Levenson's Law: It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Levin's Law: Following the rules will not get the
Levineís Law: Many complain of their memory, but few of their judgement.
Levy's Laws: 1. No amount of
genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
Lewis's Laws: 1. People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
Lichtenberg's Law: To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation
Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
Lilly's Metalaw: All laws are simulations of reality.
Lingle's Law of Corporate Snafus: If it calls for more than two directives, the problem is worse than you thought.
Linton's Law for Corporations: Growth
is directly proportional to promises made;
Linton's Law: Growth is directly proportional to promises made; profit is inversely proportional to promises kept.
Linus's Law: There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
Lisa's Law of the Office: She who hesitates is bossed.
Livingston's Laws of Fat: 1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
Liz Taylor's Observation: The problem with people who have no vices is that you generally can be pretty sure they're are going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Liz's Law: If you spend hours trying to sign on a busy server, your connection will be lost as soon as you get on.
Lodge's Law of Life: Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.
Lofta's Lament for Workers: No employer can leave well enough alone.
Lofta's Lament: Nobody can leave well enough alone.
Loftus's Fifth Law of Management: Some people manage by the book, even
though they don't know
Logan's Lament: Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
London's Law of Libraries: No matter which book you need, it's on the bottom shelf.
Long's Law: Natural Laws have no pity.
Lord Balfour's Contention: Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all.
Lord Cohen's Comment: The feasibility of an operation is not the best indication for its performance.
Lord Falkland's Rule: When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Louie's Laws of Horseracing: 1. The one you almost bet on is the one
Lovka's Dilemma: You never get away, you only get someplace else.
Lowe's Law: Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.
Lowery's Law: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway [also Sry's Law].
Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.
1. Law: No one has ever erected a monument to a committee.
Lucky's Law of Mechanics: After spending forty-five minutes on a repair, you discover a five-minute way to do it.
Lunsford's Rule of Scientific Endeavor: The simple explanation always follows the complex solution.
Luposchainsky's Hurry-Up-and-Wait Principle: If you're early, it'll be
Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.