Red Barons Webseiten
Edd's Law of Radiology: The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body you are required to place upon it.
Eddie's First Law of Business: Never conduct negotiations before 10 A.M.
or after 4 P.M. Before 10 you appear too anxious,
Edelstein's Advice: Don't worry over what other people are thinking about
you. They're too busy worrying
Edington's Theory: The number of different hypothesis erected to explain
a given phenomenon is inversely proportional
Duck's Political Principle: Any campaign reform only lasts until the powers regroup.
Dude's Law of Duality: Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.
Duezabou's Observation: If you abstain from drinking, smoking and carousing, you may not live longer - but it will feel longer.
Edward's Laws: 1. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get
Ehrman's Commentaries: 1. Things will get worse before they get better. 2. Who said things would get better?
Einstein's Extension of Parkinson's Law: A work project expands to
fill the space available. Corollary: No matter how large the
Eldon's Electronic Excuse for the Millennium: The check is in the e-mail.
Eldridge's Law of War: Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him.
Eleanor Roosevelt’s Rule: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eliot's Edict: Nothing is so good as it seemed beforehand.
Ellard's Law: Those who want to learn will learn. Those who do not want
to learn will lead enterprises.
Ellis's Law: Progress is the exchange of one nuisance for another.
Elliott's Axiom: All children are future ex-idealists.
Ely's Key to Success: Create a need and fill it.
Emely's Rule of Sporting Events (The
Super Bowl Principle): The more highly anticipated
the sporting event,
Emerson's Observation: In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
Ender's Law: The first attempt to simplify or clarify a complex set of data will result in muddling the issue further.
Endo's Betamax Principle: If there are two competing and incompatible
technologies on the market,
Eng's Principle: The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.
Engle's Law: When you stand up to be counted, someone will take your seat.
Engler's Rule of Innovation: Innovation requires bypassing - not building upon - existing expertise.
Erickson's Equivalent: Surfing the Internet is like spending an entire day at a magazine rack.
Erma Bombeck's Law of Heredity: Insane is hereditary; you get it from your kids.
Ertz's Observation: Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Esquire's Comment: The better the relationship starts out, the faster it fades.
Essential Law on Deliveries: The heavier the package, the farther away you must park to deliver it.
Esther's Law: The fussiest person will be the one to get the chipped coffee cup, the glass with lipstick, or the hair in the food.
Etorre's Observation: The other line always moves faster. O'Brien's
Variation on Etorre's Observation: If you change lines,
Evan's Law: Once you give up integrity, the rest is easy.
Evan and Bjorn's Law: No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would
Evans's Law: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you just don't understand the problem...
Eve's Discovery: At a bargain sale, the dress you like is the only one not on
sale. Adam's Corollary: It's easy to tell
Everitt's Laws of Thermodynamics: 1. Confusion is always
increasing in society.
Extended Epstein-Heisenberg Principle: In an R & D orbit, only 2 of
the existing 3 parameters can be defined simultaneously.
F. P. Jones's Observation: Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
Fagan's Rule of Bureaucratic Structure: The incompetent objects loudest to the incompetence in others.
Fagin's Rule on Past Prediction: Hindsight is an exact science.
Fahnstock's Rule for Failure: If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that shows you tried.
Fairfax's Law: Any facts which, when included in the argument, give the desired result, are fair facts for the argument.
Fant's Law: When attempting to open a locked door with only one hand free, the key will be in the opposite pocket.
Farber's Fourth Law: Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
Farlow's Law: Those who do not read are not better off than those who cannot read.
Farnsdick’s Corollary to the Fifth Corollary: After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
Farmer's Credo: Sow your wild oats on Saturday's night - then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
Farrell's Law of Newfangled Gadgetry: The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
Farther Fitzgerald's Rule: Behave as if you were watched.
Farther O'Malley's Law: Any Sunday on which the church receives
above-average donations is followed
Fausner's Definition: Housework is what nobody notices unless it's not done.
Rule of the Household: A knife too dull to cut anything else can always cut your finger.
Feather’s Rule: Flattery must be pretty thick before anyone objects to it.
Feinberg's Second Principle: Memory serves its own master.
Felson's Law: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Felton's Law: Whatever plan one makes, there is a hidden difficulty
somewhere. Corollary: The hidden difficulty becomes
Felt's Law of Golf: The first time you three-put will be on the first green you hit in regulation.
Femo's Law of Automotive Engine Repair: If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.
Femo's Law of Automotive Engine Repairing: If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.
Ferguson's Precept: A crisis is when you can't say, "Let's forget the whole thing."
Fett's Law of the Lab: Never replicate a successful experiment
Feyneman's Law: Science is the belief in the ignorance of the experts.
Fifth Law of Committee Dynamics: The most efficient or creative idea will
come from someone not officially assigned
Fifth Law of Design: Design flaws travel in groups.
Fifth Law of Desire: If you will get what you want, it will come when you can't use it.
Fifth Law of Office Murphology: Vital
papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where
you left them
Fifth Law of Programming: It easier to change the specifications to fit the program than vice versa.
Fifth Law of Retail: If you can get it at the best price, you can't get
it quickly. If you can get it quickly,
Fifth Law of Unreliability: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Fifth Rule of Success in Business: Keep your boss's boss of your boss's back.
Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
Finman's Bargain Basement Principle: The one you want is never the
one on sale. Baker's Corollary: You never want the one
First Rule of Auto Repair: That which is attached
with only two bolts is directly
First Law of Acting: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended
First Law of Applied Confusion:
The one piece that the plant forgot to ship is the
one that supports 75 percent
First Law of Assembly: Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
First Law of Business Calls: The most persistent callers have the least important business.
First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
First Law of Bridge: It's always the partner's fault.
First Law of Class Scheduling: If the course you wanted most has room for “n” students, you will be the “n+1” to apply.
First Law of Consumer Checking: The bank's balance is always smaller than yours.
First Law of Consumer Spending: The item goes on sale only after you have purchased it at a regular price.
First Law of Corporate Planning: Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
First Law of Debate: Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.
First Law of Employee Benefits: The illness you come down with is the one ailment your group insurance doesn't cover.
First Law of Executive Privilege: The CEO is never late, only delayed.
First Law of Final Exams: Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted
all semester will fail during the math final.
First Law of Government Press Conferences: The more upbeat the
First Law of Living: As soon as you're doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else.
First Law of Laboratory Work: Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
First Law of Money Dynamics: A surprise monetary windfall will be accompanied by an unexpected expense of the same amount.
First Law of Murphology: Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
First Law of Negotiations: A negotiation shall be considered to be successful if al parties walk away being screwed.
First Law of Particle Physics: The shorter the life of the particle, the greater it costs to produce.
First Law of Politics: Stay in with the outs.
First Law of Practical Science: Don't be misled by the facts.
First Law of Product Testing: The biggest deficiency will never show itself during the test run.
First Law of Repair: You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
First Law of Revision: Information
necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after
First Law of Scientific Progress: The advance of science can be measured
by the rate at which exceptions
First Law of Self-Employment: A high-paying rush job comes in only after you have committed to a low-paying rush job.
First Law of Slide Presentations: In any slide presentation, at least one slide will be upside down, backward or both.
First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.
First Law of Spelunking: Never try to crawl through a hole smaller than your head.
First Law of Traffic: The slow lane you were stopped in starts moving as soon as you leave it.
First Law of Travel: It always takes longer to get there than to get back.
First Law of Timekeeping: If there are more than two clocks in a home, no two will show the same time.
First Maxim of the Corporation (The "We've Always Done It That Way
Before" Maxim): When choosing between
First Military Law: If the enemy is in range, so are you.
First Postulate of Iso-Murphism: Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
First Principle of Administration: Never implement anything for the first time.
First Principle of Child Behavior: If there's no room on the floor, somebody will throw it on the bed.
First Principle of Self-Determination: What you resist, you become.
First Rule for Interns: Never say, "I'm new at this" to a patient.
First Rule of Acting: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended.
First Rule of Advertising: Sell the sizzle, not the product.
First Rule of Applied Mathematics: Ninety-eight percent of all statistics are made up.
First Rule of Assembly and Production: The simple solution becomes evident just after the task is completed.
First Rule of Brainstorming: The person who says that no idea is a bad idea is the one who has no good ideas.
First Rule of Business: Having a detailed business plan doesn't guarantee success, but not having one guarantees failure.
First Rule of Consulting: Every $100 worth of billing takes $150 worth of time and effort.
First Rule of Foreign Sales: Any foreign payments will be at the worst possible exchange rate.
First Rule of Government Spending: The amount of funding allocated to a
government program is in inverse proportion
First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself - historians merely repeat each other.
First Rule of Intelligent Tinkering: Save all the parts.
First Rule for Interns: Never say, "I'm new at this" to a patient.
First Rule of Negative Anticipation: You will save yourself a lot of
needless worry if you don't burn your bridges
First Rule of Pathology: Most well-trodden paths lead nowhere.
First Rule of Superior Inferiority: Don't let your superiors know you're better than they are.
First Workshop Principle: The one wrench or drill bit you need will be the one missing from the tool chest.
Firth's Theorem: Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
Fish's Laws of Animal Behavior: 1.The probability of a cat eating
its dinner has absolutely nothing to do
Fitz-Gibbon's Law: Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved with the broth.
Fitzgerald's Law: The cleverly expressed opposite of any generally accepted idea is worth a fortune to somebody.
Fix’s Principle: People get lost in thought because it is unfamiliar territory.
Flon's Law: There is no language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
Flemish Proverb: What is said when drunk has been thought beforehand.
Flugg's Law: When you need to knock on
wood, you realize the world is composed of aluminum and vinyl.
Forbes’ Law: Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
Ford's Advice: Failure is the opportunity to begin more intelligently.
Foster's Law: The only people who find what they are looking for in life
are the fault-finders.
Four Workshop Principles: 1. The one wrench or drill bit you need will be
the one missing from the tool chest.
Fourth Law of Business: The day you're running behind schedule is the day all your appointments are running on time.
Fourth Law of Bus Riding: Bus schedules are arranged so your bus will
arrive at the transfer point
Fourth Law of Human Nature: The less you know about it, the easier it is to argue about it.
Fourth Law of Revision: After
painstaking and careful analysis of a sample, you are always told
Fourth Principle of Telephone Dynamics: A wrong call made to your phone tends to repeat itself.
Fourth Rule of Bureaucratic Action: In any bureaucracy, busy work tends to drive out useful work.
Fourth Workshop Principle: The more carefully you plan a project, the more confusion there is when something goes wrong.
Fowler's Note: The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.
Fox on Bureaucracy: A bureaucracy can outwait anything. Corollary:
Never get caught between two bureaucracies.
France's Rule of Folly: If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Franco's Law of the Workplace: If you enjoy what you're doing, you're probably doing it wrong.
Frank's Phone Phenomena: 1. If you have a pen, there's no paper. 2.
If you have paper, there's no pen.
Fredericks's Laws of Marketing: 1. Never listen to your own hype. 2. Never get downwind from your marketing.
Law of Filth: You can get everything dirty without getting anything
Freivald's Law: Only a fool can reproduce another fool's work.
Fresco's Discovery: If you knew what you were doing, you'd probably be bored.
Frick's Paradox of Figures: If it works out correctly the first time, something is wrong.
Fried's Law: Ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.
Human beings are distinguished from other animals more by their ability to
Frost's Definition: A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella
in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Frothingham's Fallacy: Time is money.
First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will fall over.
Fudd's First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will fall over.
Fuller's Law of Journalism: The further away the disaster or accident
occurs, the greater the number of dead
Fulton's Law of Gravity: The effort of catching a breakable falling object will cause more destruction than if the object had been allowed to fall in the first place.
Furbill's Black Thumb Maxim: There are two kinds of houseplants - those
that get too much water,
Futility Factor: No experiment is ever a complete failure - it can always serve as a negative example.