Red Barons Webseiten

 

A - B

C - D

E - F

G - H

I - J- K

 L  

 M  

N - O - P

Q - R

 S  

 T  

U - Z

 Up  

T. S. Elliot's Observation: Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

T. Smith's Definition: "Unbreakable" means that it breaks in a way you never expected. 
  Law of the Workplace:
The air conditioning that hasn't worked properly all summer will be repaired
    just in time for the year's first cold spell.

Table of Handy Office Excuses: 1. That's the way we've always done it. 
   2.
I didn't know you were in a hurry for it. 
   3.
That's not my department. 
   4.
No one told me to go ahead. 
   5.
I am waiting for an O.K. 
   6.
How did I know this was different. 
   7.
That's his job, not mine. 
   8.
Wait 'til the boss comes back and ask him. 
   9.
We don't make many mistakes. 
  10.
I didn't think it was very important. 
  11.
I'm so busy, I just can't get around to it. 
  12.
I thought I told you. 
  13.
I wasn't hired to do that.

Tallulah Bankhead's Observation: If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Tappan's Restating of Something Famous: To say nothing, to do nothing, is to be about average.

Tatman's Rule: Always assume that your assumption is invalid.

Taylor's Law of Tailoring: No matter how many alterations, cheap pants never fit.
  Putting Principle: Any putt is straight if you hit it hard enough.

Telesco's Laws of Nursing: 1. All the IVs are at the other end of the hall. 
  2.
A physician's ability is inversely proportional to his availability. 
  3.
There are two kinds of adhesive tape: the one that won't stay on and the one that won't come off. 
  4.
Everybody wants a pain shot at the same time. 
  5.
Everybody who didn't want a pain shot when you were passing out pain shots wants one
        when you are passing out sleeping pills.

Temple's Law of the Kitchen: Anything cooked in an oven will be either overcooked or undercooked.
   Corollary:
Anything cooked in a microwave will be overcooked and undercooked at the same time.

Tenenbaum's Law of Replication: The most interesting results happen only once.

Terman's Law of Innovation: If you want a track team to win the high jump, you find one person who can jump seven feet,
    not seven people who can jump one foot.

Thal's Law: For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.

The 10-60 Rule of Health Care: A 60-minute doctor's appointment will result in seeing the doctor for 10 minutes.

The 3 Certainties of Life: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Another Diet Book

The 401 Error Principle: Your favorite bookmarks no longer exist on the server.

The 90/90 Rule of Project Schedules: The first 90 percent of the task takes 10 percent of the time
    and the last 10 percent takes the other 90.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a fifty-fifty chance of getting something right,
     there is a 90 percent probability you’ll get it wrong.

The Airplane Law: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.

The Answering Machine Law: The one time you answer the phone instead of letting a machine answer it,
    the caller will be a party you have been actively avoiding

The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.

The Art Director's Nightmare: The color you have used most is the color the client likes least.

The Army Axiom: Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

The Attorney Axiom: Any simple point must be explained in the most complicated way.

The Avis-Hertz Law of Airports: In an airport served by seven car rental agencies,
    the six other service shuttles will arrive before yours.

The Awful Truth: Estate planning is not intended to protect your heirs if you die.
    It is intended to protect your heirs when you die.

The Banking Principle: When you get to the front of the line, the teller will close.
   Corollary
:
The "Use Next Window" sign will point to a window that is also closed.

The Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and kick it into place.

The Bering Distinction: Philosophy is questions that may never be answered, Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

The Basic Rule of Barbecuing: The grill is perfect ten minutes after everyone has eaten.

The Betamax Principle: If there are two competing and incompatible technologies on the market,
    the inferior technology will prevail.

The Book Lover's Rule: Never judge a book by its cover price.

The Budgetary Reminder: A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

The Bumper-to-Bumper Belief: Traffic congestion increases in direct proportion to the length of time
    the street is supervised by a traffic-control officer.

The Bureaucracy Principle: Only bureaucracy can fight bureaucracy.

The Callaway's Lament: Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

The Capitalist Conundrum: You can't have it all, but you can pay for it all.

The Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.

The Chatelier's Principle: Complex systems tend to oppose their own proper function.

The Chi Factor: Quantity = 1/Quality; or, quantity is inversely proportional to quality.

The Chief Executive in Charge of Titles Law: The longer the title, the less important the job.

The Christmas Tree-Buying Axiom: Every tree you reject looks perfect when selected by someone else.

The Corporate Dynamic: In any corporate hierarchy, blame for a screw-up will tend to flow downward
    to the lowest hierarchical level.

The Corporate Rule of Expertise: The higher the level of expertise, the greater the level of equivocation.

The Corridor Corollary: You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

The Coupon Constant: The coupons you clip and save expire before you need to use them.

The Cynic's Censure: In America, every major cause becomes a major industry.

The Danger Dictum: The more a warning is repeated, the less likely it will be heeded.

The Decorative Artwork Principle: The cost for the framing always exceeds the cost of the art.

The Denali Principle: When a mammalogist and an ornithologist go exploring,
    the mammalogist will spot the  golden eagle and the ornithologist will spot the grizzly bear.

The "Don't-Back-Out" Rule: Any city works project, no matter how ill-conceived it subsequently proves to be,
    will be supported as long as the funding is.

The Download Factor: If a file takes an hour to download, someone in your house will pick up the phone in the 59th minute.

The Eclipse Principle: The longer you travel to view an eclipse, the greater the chance of cloud cover.

The Einstein Extension of Parkinson's Law: A work project expands to fill the space available.
   Corollary:
No matter how large the work space,
                     if two projects must be done at the same time they will require the use of the same part of the work space.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not committee.

The End-Task Rule: Everything can be filed under miscellaneous.

The EPSN Rule: Your favorite team gets less coverage than everyone else's.

The Executive Principle: You can't steal second base and keep one foot on first.

The Extended Murphy's Law: If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence.

The Extended Rule of Money Dynamics: A check due to you takes two weeks to arrive. Bills arrive the day they are sent.

The Extra-Part Principle: You never know what the extra part is for until you've thrown it away.

The Fame Principle: The final test of fame is to have a crazy person imagine he is you.

The Fauvre Principle: Money earned in your own business will be lost in someone else's business

The Feminist Dictum: A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. 
  Friedman's Response to the Feminist Dictum:
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

The Fertility Factor: Women are only fertile a few days each month - unless they're single.

The Fifth (and Only) Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.

The Fifth Rule of Politics: When a politician gets an idea, he usually gets it wrong.

The First Law of the business Letter: Never ask two questions in a business letter.
    The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

The First Pitfall of Genius: No boss will keep an employee who is right all the time.

The First Rule of Excavation: If you are in a hole, stop digging.

The Functionary's Falsity: People in systems do not what the systems says they are doing.

The Fundamental Postulates of Advanced Systems Theory: 1. Everything is a system. 
        2.
Everything is part of a larger system. 
        3.
The universe is infinitely systematized, both upward (larger systems) and downward (smaller systems). 
        4.
All systems are infinitely complex. (The illusion of simplicity comes from focusing attention on one or a few variables.

The Fundamental Theorem: New systems generate new problems. Corollary: Systems should not be unnecessarily multiplied.

  Alternative Formulations: 1. Complicated systems produce unexpected outcomes. 
      2.
The total behavior of large systems cannot be predicted.
         Corollary:
The Non-Additivity Theorem of System-Behavior:
A large system,
                  produced by expanding the dimension of a smaller system, does not behave like the smaller system.

The Gluskin-Fagan Rules: 1. Takeovers are always announced one day after you sell the stock of the target company. 
        2.
Time-tested investment strategies stop working as soon as you put your money into them. 
        3.
The next bull market will begin on the day you swear never to touch another stock as long as you live. 
        4.
The only hot stock market tips that work are those you have ignored.

The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market
    is hidden on the bottom of the grocery bag.

The Guest Rule: Never mistake endurance for hospitality.

The Guppy Law: When outrageous expenditures are divided finely enough,
    the public will not have enough stake in any one expenditure to squelch it. Corollary: Enough guppies can eat a treasury.

The Halloween Candy Rule: You get the least of what you like the most.

The Help Homily: In matters of automobile repair, the only advice you get will be for things you have already checked.

The Hierarchy Rule: To get action from a bureaucracy, talk to the person at the top or bottom of the ladder.

The History Principle: History is a set of lies agreed upon by the victor.

The Hollywood Politico Law: No matter how foolish the cause,
    there will be famous actor or actress acting as spokesperson for it.

The Inapplicable Law: Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

The Interest Principle: Almost everything is more popular than it used to be.

The Ire Principle: Never try to pacify anyone at the height of their rage.

The Iron Law of Secretaries: As soon as you get a fresh cup of coffee,
    the boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

The It's-Not-Broke-But-Fix-It-Anyway Exercise: It is less risky to modify a well-operating system
    than to correct the problems in a poorly operating system.

The Ire Principle: Never try to pacify someone at the height of his rage.

The Jones/Einstein Principle: Originality is the art of concealing your source.

The Kennedy Constant: Don't get mad - get even.

The Kibbitzer's Rule: It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.

The Landry-Shula Law: Anyone who makes a significant contribution to a field of endeavor,
    and stays in that field long enough, is eventually viewed as an obstruction to its further progress.

The Last Law: It's better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.

The Law of Eponymy: Any given Law will not be named for the person who created it.
   Corollary
:
It's not who said it, it's who named it.

The Law of Oversell: When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of the Letter: The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the letter.

The Lawyer's Maxim: Where there's a will, there's a lawsuit.

The Lawyer Joke Law: The problem with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t think they’re funny,
    and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

The Leprechaun Lemma: When you reach the end of the rainbow, you will find that the pot of gold is at the other end.

The Leather/Weather Rule: The chance of a sudden cloudburst is in direct proportion to the amount of suede you are wearing.

The Line Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.

The Linear Accelerator Principle: The shorter the line, the slower it moves.

The Lippman Lemma: People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.

The Loophole Law: The higher the tax bracket, the more ways to avoid paying the taxes.

The Luncheon Law: The person who suggests splitting the bill evenly is always the person who ordered the most expensive meal.

The Machine Rules: 1. Nothing will work that is put back together in the reverse of the way it was dismantled. 
    2.
The last turn on any nut or bolt will strip it or snap it off. Corollary. Without the last turn, the nut or bolt will fall off.

The Mansonry Law: No matter how many bricks or blocks have been placed correctly, any one placed incorrectly
    will ruin the stability of the entire structure. Corollary: The one placed incorrectly will be found somewhere in the middle.

The McGwire Principle: The biggest plays occur when you're out buying beer.

The Mosquito Principle: When two people are together outdoors,the insects will bother one while leaving the other alone.

The Motel Maxim: The person who will leave the earliest has parked his car in front of your window.

The Munroe Doctrine: A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

The Murphy Dictum of Sports: Losing streaks tend to run longer than winning streaks. 
  Maxim:
If it's good, and it happens, it happens at the wrong time. Shaw's Extension: If it's bad, it'll be back. 
  Philosophy:
Smile ... tomorrow will be worse. 
  Principle:
There is always a wrong way to do it.

The NBA Revelation: No one really cares what happens in the first 46 minutes of a basketball game.

The Office Building Elevator Principle: The first elevator that arrives will be headed in the wrong direction.

The Office Maxim: The phone never rings when you have nothing to do.

The Oil Spill Principle: People will accept any bad news if the magnitude of the disaster is revealed gradually.

The Old Porter's Observation: There's very few what comes up to the average.

The Operational Fallacy: The system itself does not do what is says it is doing.

The Ordering Principle: Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later tomorrow noon.

The Pace of Progress: Society is a mule, not a car... If pressed too hard, it will kick and throw off its rider.

The Pack Rat Law of Paperwork: If you have kept it and not referred to it in more than a year,
     you will need it within a week of throwing it out. 
Law of Tools and Utensils:
If you use it sparingly, and put it away in a new place, you will never find it again.

The Parent's Rule: The best revenge is to live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The Parouzzi Principle: Given a bad start, trouble will increase at an exponential rate.

The Party Law: The more food you prepare, the less your guests will eat.

The Pay Phone Rule: The change in your pocket isn't enough to cover the cost of the call.

The Pet Principle: No matter which side of the door the dog or cat is on, it's the wrong side.

The Peter-Out Principle: After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The Pineapple Principle: The best parts of anything are always impossible to remove from the worst parts.

The Pitfalls of Genius: No boss will keep an employee who is right all of the time.

The Poker Principle: Never do card tricks for the group you play with.

The Principle Concerning Multifunctional Devices: The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly it can perform those functions.

The Printing Laws: 1. It will not work the first time. 2. It probably will not work on the second attempt.
   3.
Immediately after you walk away from the printer, the paper will jam.

The Product Development Paradox: The reason for the rush is the revision, but the reason for the revision is the rush.

The Programmer's Dilemma: Programming is like sex. One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.

The Puritan Principle: If it feels good, don't do it.

The Quality Factor: Quantity is inversely proportional to quality.

The Queue Principle: The longer you wait in line, the greater the likelihood that you are standing in the wrong line.

The Rational Fallacy: Everything happens for a reason.

The Recommended Practices Committee of the International Society of Philosophical Engineers'
Universal Laws for Naive Engineers
:
1. In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so. 
        2
. Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm. 
        3.
In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from engineering handbooks) are to be treated as variables. 
        4
. The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will not begin to meet those conditions
                encountered in actual service. 
        5
. The most vital dimension an any plan or drawing stands the greatest chance of being omitted. 
        6
. If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be unreasonable. 
        7.
If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production units will malfunction. 
        8.
All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0. 
        9.
Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication is nearly completed. 
       10.
Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will be. 
       11.
Interchangeable parts won't. 
       12
. Manufacturer's specifications of performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.5. 
       13.
Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.2 5. 
       14.
Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device will be promptly discarded
                 by the Receiving Department. 
       15.
Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 
       16.
Service Conditions as given an specifications will be exceeded. 
       17.
If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault. 
       18.
Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave in an identical fashion in the field. 
       19
. If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is set through service experience at an ultimate value,
                an ingenious idiot will promptly calculate a method to exceed said safety factor. 
       20
. Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.

The Reliability Principle: The difference between the Laws of Nature and Murphy' Law is that,
    with the Laws of Nature, you can count on things screwing up the same way every time.

The Reja-Jansen Law: On the first pull of the cord, the drapes move the wrong way.

The Rent-a-Car Law: In any airport served by several car rental agencies, the other service shuttles will arrive before yours.

The Revolutionary Law: The dirtier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

The Rockefeller Principle: Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing.

The Roman Rule: The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

The Roosevelt Rule: Repetition does not transform a lie into truth.

The Rule for Ultimate Success in Life: Never say everything you know.

The Rule of Demographics: The most extensive and costly demographic research yields results that were obvious from the start.

The Rule of Law: Never make a major policy change based on a close vote.

The Rule of Revision: One small change in the middle of a manuscript results in an exponential increase
    in the number of changes necessary.

The Rule of the Law: If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts.
    If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

The Rule of the Rally: The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost.

The Rule of the Way out: Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

The Rule of Winter: At least once each winter, someone will say that last year's winter never felt this cold.

The Ruler Rule: There is no such thing as a straight line.

The Sagan Fallacy: To say a human being is nothing but molecules and atoms is like saying a Shakespeare play
    is nothing but words and letters.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just enough to increase your taxes and just small enough
    to have no effect on your take-home pay.

The Sausage Principle: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.

The Schainker Converse: Inside every small problem is a larger problem struggling to get out.

The Siddhartha Principle: You cannot cross a river in two strides.

The Sleeping-Baby Rule for Dedicated Dads: A sleeping baby will remain so until (a) the parents are sound asleep
     or (b) the parents are in the middle of lovemaking.

The Smiths' Law: No real problem has a solution.

The Spare Button Principle: Shirts that come with extra buttons never lose buttons.

The Spare Parts Principle: The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the work bench,
    varies directly with the size of the part - and inversely with the importance to the completion of work underway.

The Stadium Service Principle: The quality of food and service varies directly with the number of alternative sources available.    Corollary: When there is only one concessionaire, the price will be exorbitant.

The Stages of Systems Development: 1. Wild enthusiasm. 
   2.
Disillusionment.
   3.
Total confusion.
   4.
Search for the guilty.
   5.
Punishment of the innocent.
   6.
Promotion of the non-participants.

The Student's Tautology: The teacher is never absent on the day of the exam.

The Student Tautology: The teacher is never absent on the day of the exam.

The Survivalist's Rule of Committeeship: When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.

The Third Law of Printing: Immediately after you walk away from the printer, the paper will jam.

The Three Least Credible Sentences in the English Language: 1. "The check is in the mail." 
   2
. "Of course I'll respect you in the morning." 
   3.
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."

The Three Ways to Get Something Done: 1. Do it yourself. 
   2.
Hire someone to do it for you.
   3. Forbid your kids to do it.

The Too Hot/Too Cold Axiom: No two adjoining departments in any given workplace will agree on the proper thermostat setting.

The Two Rules for Ultimate Success in Life: 1. Never tell everything you know.

The Ultimate Principle: By definition, when you are investigating the unknown you do not know what you will find.

The Unapplicable Law: Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

The Universal Law of Telephone Directories: The first category you turn to in the yellow pages
    does not contain the listing you need.

The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something ...if it's good, it goes away. ...if it's bad, it happens.

The Unwritten Rule of Marketing: Chose format over content.

The Upgrade Principle: The upgrade will break down as soon as the old version is deleted.
   Corollary:
The old version will not reinstall.

The Vacationer's Axiom: You always get sick on the second day of your vacation and always recover the day
    before you return to work.

The Virus Factor: The one file you don't scan for viruses will be the one with the virus.

The Voice-Mail Principle: Those whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first put on hold.

The Watergate Principle: Government corruption is always reported in the past tense.

The Whispered Rule: People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Theory of Selective Supervision: The one time in the day that you lean back and relax
    is the one time the boss walks through the office.

Thiessen's Law of Art: The overwhelming prerequisite for the greatness of an artist is that artist's death. 
  Law of Gastronomy:
The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll.

Thine's Law: Nature abhors people.

Things that Can Be Counted on in a Crisis: MARKETING says yes. FINANCE says no. LEGAL has to review it.
    PERSONNEL is concerned. PLANNING is frantic. ENGINEERING is above it all.
    MANUFACTURING wants more floor space. MANAGEMENT wants someone responsible.

Third Bureaucratic Principle: The longer the title, the less important the job.

Third Rule for Retailers: The customer is almost right.

Third Law of Applied Confusion: After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays,
    add two more for the unexpected delays.

Third Law of Bureaucratic Efficiency: Elimination of one time-consuming procedure results
    in the implementation of two shorter procedures that, when added together, take longer to complete than the first.

Third Law of Interviews and Appointments: The later you are running, the heavier the traffic.

Third Law of Job Hunting: The longer and more detailed the résumé, the less likely it will be read.

Third Law of Mechanical Repair: The availability of a part is inversely proportional to the need for the part.

Third Law of Office Murphologie: Machines that have broken down will work perfectly
    when the person who repairs them arrives.

Third Law of Parking: The best parking places are on the other side of the street.
   Corollary:
If the parking spot is directly adjacent to your destination, it will be too small for your car.

Third Law of Productivity: When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Third Law of Research: The theory is supported as long as the funding remains.

Third Law of Solutions: The obvious answer is always overlooked.

Third Law of Troubleshooting: The device that tested perfectly the last time it was tested will fail
   when called upon to function the first time after the test.

Third Law of Workplace Climatology: Repair of the heating system signals the onset of warmer weather.

Third Rule for Retailers: The customer is almost right.

Third Rule of Democracy: Disorder expands proportionately to the tolerance for it.

Third Rule of the Mega-Committee: A lack of consensus means that a fact-finding committee will be appointed
    to study the feasibility of appointing a subcommittee.

Third Truth of Management: If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don’t do it.

Third Workshop Principle: Leftover nuts never match leftover bolts.

Thomas Huxley's Rule of Progress: Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.

Thomas Jefferson's Rule: Delay is preferable to error.

Thomas's Disheartening Revelation: Your childhood sweetheart is as old as you are.
  Law of Board Games:
The one who least wants to play is the one who will win.

Thompson's First Rule of Painting: It takes more time to prep it than to paint it. 
  Rule of Warehousing:
To ensure immediate need of a carton from the shelf, put something very large and heavy in front of it. 
  Steady State Theory:
The steady state of disks is full.
Theorem:
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.  
Theory:
Any theory can be made to fit any fact by incorporating additional assumptions.

Thoreau's Observation: Men have become the tools of their tools.
  Rule: Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Thoms’s Law of Marital Bliss: The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount spent on the wedding.

Thornley's Law: What we imagine as order is merely the prevailing form of chaos.

Thorson's Law: The greater the emergency, the lower the charge in your cell-phone battery.

Throop's Axiom: The universe is not user-friendly.

Thumb's Postulates: 1. It is better to solve a problem with a crude approximation and know the truth, ± 10%,
        than to demand an exact solution and not know the truth at all.  
  2.
An easily-understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehensible truth.

Thurber’s Law: There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

Tibbett's Law of Opportunity: The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Tillis' Organizational Principle: If you file it, you'll know where it is but you'll never need it.
    If you don't file it, you'll need it but never know where it is.

Timmy Wilcox's Law: The larger than you an older brother is, the more he's right about everything.

Todd's First Law: All things equal you lose. Corollary: All things being in your favor, you still lose. 
  Two Political Principles: 1.
No matter what they're telling you, they're not telling you the truth. 
    2.
No matter what they're talking about, they're talking about money.

Tolstoy on History: History would be a wonderful thing – if it were only true.

Tom’s Law: When you finally meet the perfect woman, she will be waiting for the perfect man.

Tomlin's Law: Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
  Truism: Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Toynbee's Rule: In matters of religion, it is very easy to deceive mankind and very difficult to undeceive them.

Townsend's Law: Marriage teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness,
    and a great many other things you wouldn't need if you had stayed single.

Tracey's Time Observation: Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.
    Traditional Wisdom for Military Combat: Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Tracey's Time Observation: Good times end too quickly. Bad times go on forever.

Traditional Wisdom for Military Combat: Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Trahey's Law: Never dump a good idea on a conference table. It will belong to the conference.

Trevelyan’s Rule: “History repeats itself” and “History never repeats itself” are about equally true

Trishmann's Paradox: A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

Tristan's Law: Appealingness is inversely proportional to attainability.

Troutman's First Programming Postulates: 1. Not until a program has been in production for at least six months
        will the most harmful error be discovered. 
  2.
Profanity is the one language all programmers know. 
  5.
If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.

Truman's Law: If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Truths of Management: 1. Think before you act; it's not your money. 
  2.
All good management is the expression of one great idea. 
  3.
No executive devotes effort to proving himself wrong. 
  4
. If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don't do it.

Tuccille's First Law of Reality: Industry always moves in to fill an economic vacuum.

Tucker's Comment: It makes sense, when you don't think about it.

Tudisco's Asymmetry Principle: Things go wrong all at once, but things go right gradually.
   Corollary
:
It takes no time at all to break something, but it takes forever to have something repaired.

Tupper's Political Postulate: Those who sit astride the fence have few direction from which to choose.

Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

Twain's Observations: 1.Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves
           and how little we think of the other person.
    2.
If you abstain from drinking, smoking, and carousing you may not live longer - but it will feel longer.
  on Facts:  Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
  on Religion: Profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
  on Truth: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  Rule: People believe what you say, except when you’re telling the truth.

Tylczak's Probability Postulate: Random events tend to occur in groups.

A - B

C - D

E - F

G - H

I - J- K

 L  

 M  

N - O - P

Q - R

 S  

 T  

U - Z

 Up  

 

This page was last updated on 03 Januar, 2014